


Watching the Lightning With You

by Catticus42



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Banter, Because that's just him, But he is for her :), F/M, Friendship, He isn't normally the comforting type, Helen's in denial, Romance, Soft caring Nikola, Teslen - Freeform, Teslen cuddles, With a touch of snark, angst/ comfort, flash backs, lightning storms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 07:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19741123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catticus42/pseuds/Catticus42
Summary: Helen, Nikola and a lightning storm....





	Watching the Lightning With You

**Author's Note:**

> I know I posted this a day early, but happy birthday Nikola Tesla!!
> 
> Now logically it should be from his point of view. But i chose to write it from Helen's perspective, because I wanted to express her feelings, and sort of show how much he means to her. Call it a Teslen gift if you will:)

Helen held her father’s journal in her lap, reading through some of his medical entries on the anatomy of a polymorphous.

She was halfway through a passage, when rain began to fall against her bedroom window. Its soft tapping caught her attention and her eyes were drawn to her window, the journal momentarily forgotten.

Drops of water glinted like beaded jewels against the glass, reflecting the warm light of her room.

She had always been fond of rain, for reasons she could never quite explain.

When she was a child, her father used to say that the sky cries for those who can’t.

 _“But why can’t they cry?” Helen asked bright-eyed with innocence_.

 _“They‘re afraid, my dear.”_ _He replied softly._

_“Afraid?” Her young self could not understand. “What do they have to be afraid of?”_

_He smiled. “Letting go...”_

As a child that concept had been distant, unreachable. But now…it was one she knew far too well.

_Ashley._

A deep sadness filled her eyes, glistening with unshed tears, as her fingers traced the pages, desperately trying to get a grip of her emotions.

 _Focus Helen, now is not the time_. She reasoned with herself, her attention returning to the journal.

_**The muscular fibres are highly dense in the abdominal, region, and limbs. Skeletal structure is entirely absent, in this species. Hence the increased malleability and elasticity required to alter its physical form……The Sydinopharl gland is a small, tissue-like mass, which resides in close proximity to the temporal lobe of the polymorphous brain. Its function is rather relatively similar to that observed in the………** _

Suddenly, thunder bellowed through the sky, restless and wild, like a tiger.

Helen sighed, rubbing her temples absentmindedly.

It seemed tonight was not going to be a productive one.

She seemed to be rather….distracted at the moment, and no amount of staring blankly at a line she had reread, around three times, was going to cure it.

Her head turned, once again, to the window, when its electrical counterpart decided to appear, teasing her with but a glimpse.

Then the lightning flashed, again, in a blinding trail of white, as if making sure she was paying attention this time.

The subsequent thunder; a deep, throaty growl.

Lighting continued to dance in arcs and spread like hands, reaching towards the eternal partner it could never touch, its caresses lost to the sky, while thunder forever echoed its name.

It was entrancing and, in an inexplicably melodramatic way, she couldn’t help but think of a certain Serbian Vampire she happened to know.

He always did love lightning storms, a smile pulled at her lips.

At Oxford, Nikola used to disappear into his room whenever a storm approached.

At first, it was, well… a bit odd. It baffled James, as he couldn’t seem to deduce a plausible reason aside from that he was eccentric and had an over-developed fascination for lightning.

Nigel came up with far too many, none of them plausible.

And John didn’t really seem to care.

Helen, however, found his fondness for electrical storms rather interesting.

Either way, all of them respected his solitude. Well at least she and Nigel had.

His closed door did not offer any invitation nor desire for company, during these times. It seemed this was something Nikola didn’t want to share with anyone.

 _Well, that’s not entirely true._ Helen mused tentatively closing the book as she watched the lighting play, privately wondering if her recent resident vampire had taken her Library hostage in order to watch. If so, it would hardly be the first time. _He shared it with me… once._

The memory tugged at her, taking her thoughts back to, _New York, November 10th 1907._

_She had left London to visit Nikola at the time._

_The weather seemed decidedly aggravated during the entire trip. In fact, Helen had barely just arrived, when dark clouds rolled across the sky, with the promise of heavy rain and a thunder storm. Specifically in that order._

_They were drenched before they even left the train station._

_Nikola held his jacket over her, as an unconventional umbrella, but while she appreciated the sentiment, in the end she was just as soaked as he was._

_“I know they say that whenever you go away, you take a piece of home with you. Well… this piece of London, could have stayed at home.” He gestured to the rain dramatically._

_“Oh, you’re just upset, because of your jacket,” She laughed, as the poor garment hung loosely in his arm, dripping wet, as they stood underneath the small balcony of a restaurant._

_“No, I’m mildly put out that, what was a jacket, is now a wearable sponge.” Nikola wrung it out, his lip curling as water hit the pavement. “I’m upset because my chivalry did nothing to keep you dry and… you never said ‘Hello’.” He gave her a look that was a combination of sulky and hopeful. “It’s been five years.”_

_“Indeed, it has been.” Helen nodded with a gentle smile as she leaned in to kiss his cold cheek, the taste of rain on her lips, as she pulled away, her eyes meeting his momentarily dazed ones._

_“_ _Hello.” She called softly, her hand on his chest, his on her waist._

_“Hello.” He breathed, equally as soft ._

_A boyish smile on his lips that was really quite adorable, his hair, normally mussed in spikes, now plastered in sodden strands against his face._

_She realised they had gathered a bit of an audience, as people eyed them with interest, she swallowed and pushed away, lightly. “Alright you have had your hello. Happy now?” “_

_Quite. Although personally, I think you missed.” His eyes gleamed mischievously as he pulled her under the sheltered row of stores and cafés, leading her through the winding streets._

_Incurable Vampire. “That is not just saying hello, Nikola.”_

_“That depends how long you intend the kiss to go for, darling.” He smirked and she raised an eyebrow at him, a smile teasing the corners of her mouth, as she shook her head. I_

_n the beginning, she hadn’t really been paying much attention, to where he was leading her, so long as it was dry. Her protest only started when she saw it was his hotel, and not hers._

_He had insisted she stay with him for the night and despite the impropriety of such an offer, and much debating over the issue, she gave in._

_It was warm, she had missed him, and those clouds did not look like they were going to be letting up anytime soon._

_In fact, Helen had just finished having a long, hot shower that started to thaw the coldness from her bones, when the deafening roar of thunder made the lights flicker, and what felt like the entire building shudder._

_Quickly drying herself, she got dressed (as Nikola had her things sent to his room) and padded quietly into the dining room which was empty, although she didn’t really expect it to be anything else._

_Not on a night like this._

_Lightning flashed seconds before the thunder boomed in its wake. He would be sure not to miss it._

_Smiling to herself, she went to walk past his room._

_However; strangely enough, his bedroom door was left…. Opened? Odd…_

_She knew she shouldn’t have pried, but curiosity got the better of her._

_Helen peered cautiously around the doorway and heard him whispering to himself. She dared to move a little closer, till she was practically leaning against the wooden frame. No… not to himself, she had realized, looking at his shadowed profile… but to the lightning….. Every nuance_ _in his depth of tone, the gentile nature of his expression, suggested a frankness and openness that was denied even to oneself._

_He spoke to it, so softly, in his native tongue, his lilting accent making everything sound wonderfully exotic; almost hypnotic in nature. She was mesmerized just listening to him._

_“It’s rude to linger in doorways, you know.” His sudden switch to English startled her out of whatever trance she was in._

_Her eyes snapped to his as he turned to face her, sitting on the bed._

_Warmth spread across her cheeks. Damn his Vampiric senses. “_

_Funny, that never seemed to have stopped you.” Helen retorted dryly, her composure regained after a moment’s reprise, as she entered. His lips quirked._

_“So… what brings you here, to my room, in the middle of the night? Miss me?” He enquired playfully._

_Helen rolled her eyes in a way that said ‘you are not that irresistible’._

_“No, your opened door merely caught my attention. Normally you lock yourself inside your room, whenever you watch lightning storms.” She gestured to the window._

_“True. However; as of recent years, I normally don’t have such lovely company, when I do.” He glanced up at her with a sly smirk. “Are you sure it was just that? For it most certainly seemed like I held your unwavering attention, earlier.”_

_“_ _And are you sure it wasn’t merely the delusions of your oversized ego?” She countered, amused._

_“Touché. No I can’t” He admitted, then smiled in that evilly charming way of his. “But if that delightful blush you’re now wearing is anything to go by, tell me I’m wrong.” S_

_he cursed her body for betraying her at such an inconvenient moment and then him, again, for his insufferable ability to see in the dark._

_Helen licked her dry lips, discreetly, trying to think of a way out of this corner he had backed her into, his eyes intently fixed on hers._

_When, suddenly, another bolt of lightning flashed outside of the window, grabbing both of their attention as the rumbling echo followed it._

_A second flash tore through the night, moments after._

_“Magnificent, isn’t it?” He whispered, his voice reverent. Their previous conversation lay forgotten in the midst of the impressive electrical display. Or at least she hoped it was._

_“That it is. No one can deny its ability to put on a show.” Helen murmured appreciatively, momentarily lost in the sporadic movement of the lightning, as she stood near the side of the bed, watching its blinding light clash against the night sky._

_She tilted her head to the side._ _“In a way it reminds me of you, actually.”_

_He rose to stand next to her. “What, that I’m magnificent?” He asked cheekily._

_She slapped his arm with a mocking scowl. “No, that you both like to show off.”_

_“As I always say, never bore your audience. And besides, lightning has to impress the thunder, somehow.” He winked._

_She shook her head, a smile teasing at her lips, and continued to look out the window as it danced across the sky._

_It truly was beautiful._

_Helen stifled back a yawn, the sleepless nights on the long t_ _rip here were starting to take its toll._

_“I think I best retire for the night.” She said tiredly._

_“So soon?” Even in the poor lighting she could tell his face had fallen into something petulant._

_“It’s nearly half past ten, and unlike Vampires who don’t suffer from fatigue, I actually, believe it or not, require sleep.”_

_“Sleep? You’re a borderline insomniac, a night owl, you will probably sit up till the morning and read Charles Dickens.” He cried exasperated._

_“Goodnight Nikola.” She called with a laugh and began to move away, when his hand caught her wrist gently._

_“Helen, wait.” He started quietly, his thumb stroking circles on her wrist and she bit her lip, the intensity building with each passing second that words didn’t fill them._

_“Stay.” He breathed his eyes an alluring sliver in the twilight “Watch it with me.”_

_Helen hesitated. “It’s late.” She began softy._

_“But I’m lonely.” He pouted at her._

_She patted his cheek fondly her thumb brushing the corner of his mouth. “No, you’re incorrigible, pretending to be lonely.”_

_“Please.” His voice was a vulnerable whisper that tugged at her. “Only for a few minutes.”_

_Helen felt perplexed, and strangely touched, at the same time. Nikola had never asked for her to stay and watch it with him.... she doubted he had ever asked anyone before._

_So why was this time different?_

_Why now?_

_Why me?_

_Her thoughts whirled, looking for some hidden agenda._

_He glanced uncertainly, at her, when she didn’t respond immediately._

_Her resolve weakened slightly._

_He looked like a hopeless kitten, who was used to disappointment, yet still maintained the philosophy that, if they stared at you long enough, you were sure to give in to its cuteness._

_Unfortunately, hidden agenda or not, it was working._

_She shook her head ruefully. Next, I suppose, I will find that he purrs as well! Helen sighed._

_“_ _Very well, I suppose a few more minutes couldn’t hurt.” She reasoned._

_“But that’s all.”_

_“I knew you couldn’t resist.” He grinned at her, and she couldn’t help but smile at his childish enthusiasm, pulling her along as they sat on the bed and gazed out the window._

_However; despite the respectable distance in which had been between them at the start, Helen noticed that, as they continued to watch the lightning, the former space that separated them, progressively got smaller, and it wasn’t from any help on her end._

_But she was far too tired to reprimand him about why their sides were suddenly touching as of the moment, and instead rested her head against his shoulder, which made for a surprisingly comfortable pillow._

_She felt him inhale in quiet surprise but, to his credit, said nothing, his eyes seemingly caught by the scene before them. The lighting danced, in white-hot veins, which pulsed through the sky; its own electric heartbeat._

_Yet not a word uttered from his lips, like before. In fact, she could barely feel him breathe now. Her lips twitched, bemused. While he may have been many things, shy was not one of them. “Nikola.” She_ _began, softly. “Hmmm?” He murmured._

_“What were you saying, before?” Helen shifted slightly, to look up at his half- shadowed profile. “_

_You are going to have to be more specific.” He whispered in her hair. He was avoiding her question. Nikola could slip out of answering something just as well as she could._

_Obviously, she would have to be less subtle._

_“You were speaking in Serbian.” She paused when he stiffened, withdrawing from her. “To the lightning.”_

_Nikola began tapping his knee with his fingers, as he automatically counted the seconds between lighting strikes and the thunder. Something she knew he could easily do in his head._

_Whenever Nikola was nervous, he had a tendency to fidget. And, right now, her Vampire’s apprehension was palpable._

_“Nikola?” she stilled his hand, by covering it with her own, forcing him to look at her, eyes soft and encouraging._

_“It likes it.” He replied quietly, after a long moment, stroking her fingers lightly with his, something she found oddly soothing and distracting._

_“The lighting?” She managed, as he brushed her pulse point with his thumb, circling the heel of her palm, his gaze following the movement as if it was a complex equation, he had yet to solve._

_“_ _Yes, it prefers Serbian. I have tried other languages, but it won’t respond. It is the only one it seems to understand.” His eyes flicked up to meet hers with an underlying tentativeness she wasn’t used to seeing from him._

_Helen considered his words, for a moment. He had always had an affinity for electricity but she didn’t realise how far that actually went. “That’s….” “_

_Madness? Insanity? Proof of Nigel’s outlandish theory_ _that I am spontaneously devolving into a fruitcake?” Nikola suggested dryly and Helen, pushed against his chest lightly with her free hand and a glare while he chuckled._

_“Stop putting words into my mouth….” She chastised, teasingly, then softened. “I don’t think you’re insane, Nikola. Reckless and immature, perhaps. But mad?” She squeezed his hand gently, her eyes catching his. “No.”_

_“You’re one of the minority, then, but I’m glad you think so.” He purred, threading their fingers. “Except for the ‘reckless and immature’ part, that was just hurtful and uncalled for.”_

_Helen smiled, her cheek brushing against his collar. “But entirely true. And, as for that ‘outlandish theory’, Nigel was inebriated at the time. He also thought the napkin holder was his great grandfather pretending to be a pickled ham, for god sake!” She exclaimed._

_“No, he was sober when that happened.” Nikola admitted casually still watching the sky, and she gave him an odd look, in between the thunder._

_“What?”_

_“He was using it as a distraction, just so he could prove James wrong about not being able to pick his pocket, without the ever observant detective even noticing. He pulled it off, too, for a second. Then, unsurprisingly, Jimmy caught on.”_

_“Let me guess, he went for his fob watch, didn’t he?” Helen enquired as the lighting flashed again. Nigel had a fondness for timepieces, especially if they belonged to other people._

_“Your guess is as good as mine, if I had cared to make one.” Nikola shrugged and she scoffed, rolling her eyes as he continued with a smirk._

_“_ _All I heard was him muttering about acting like a complete moron for nothing. And as for the fruitcake theory, well then…” He arched an eyebrow, “He was significantly less sober for that, and I may have picked an inconvenient time to have a discussion about time dilation fields.” The vampire admitted, sheepishly._

_Helen shook her head. “I am sorry I even asked.”_

_They remained in comfortable silence for a while, it had been way past a few minutes, though neither of them mentioned it._

_She enjoyed sitting here_ _, with him, more than she would ever care to admit out loud._

_Besides, the prospect of moving was almost unbearable, her body ached for sleep, her eyelids felt heavy, yet she wouldn’t succumb to it. She wanted this moment to last. She didn’t want to be alone…. not tonight. “_

_You never did answer my question.” Helen murmured sleepily as she watched the night sky through half-closed eyes._

_“No, but your avid persistence of it is truly flattering.” Nikola teased as she gave a huff of amusement. “And your evasion is quite the contrary.”_

_“Deny it all you want, darling, I know you think I’m charming.” The vampire’s eyes glimmered, in the pale light._

_“You have your moments, I’ll give you that.” Her lips curved wirily then softened. “And you don’t have to tell me, Nikola, not if you don’t want to.”_

_“Backing down, so soon, Helen? That’s not like you.” His breath, warm against, her cheek._

_“Perhaps.” She replied ruefully. “But you’re not acting like yourself, either.”_

_“Oh really…How so?”_

_“You aren’t normally so shy, Nikola.” Her eyes met his, with a smirk, his face very close to hers._

_“I’m not shy.” He proclaimed, sounding mildly offended. “I’m complicated.”_

_“That, you most definitely are.” She laughed, glancing at their entwined hands, in the darkness, for a moment, then returned to him._

_The lighting flashed, again and again, Nikola’s lips twitched, eyes lighting up and, not for the first time this evening, she wondered what it was saying._

_She looked out to the sky for the answers that Nikola seemed to see so clearly._

_Her mind going over how painfully honest he had sounded when he talked to it._

_He was so exposed, so vulnerable, with each word as if his pain, his joy, his passion, all rolled into one, delightful verse, one phrase. It was beautiful, like a dance of feelings he sought so hard to restrain from the world._

_Nikola acted cold, even callous, sometimes._

_But she knew that wasn’t him; that was just what he let people see._

_Strangely, Helen found herself wanting to listen to his voice, hear that vulnerability he disguised beneath his sharp remarks, even i_ _f it was only for a brief moment, even if it was only…._

_“What are you thinking about, Ljubav?” His soft voice, brought her back from the trance, the endearment summoning a smile. He hadn’t called her that in a very long time. Not since Oxford. “I can practically hear the gears turning in that wonderful mind of yours.”_

_“You.” Helen replied automatically, then winced, biting her lip, hoping the sharp sensation would keep her from blushing again._

_“I mean… you talking to the lightning… and….” Dear god, I’m stuttering._

_“And?” He enquired, amused. It seemed her little unconscious slip, had subsequently lead to the never-ending expansion of his ego._

_She rolled her eyes, but she remained silent. It was foolish thing to ask. No not foolish, selfish. She wanted to hear it because…. For a moment, she could pretend they were back at Oxford once again, when life was simple. Before the source blood….. Before…._

_“Helen?” He tried again, her name a gentle question that hung between them. He shifted slightly to look at her, but she kept her eyes fixed on his shirt, its white glowing softly in the darkness._

_“Will you talk to it again for me?” She whispered tentatively against his shoulder and all mirth seemed to evaporate from his demeanour._

_“_ _Only if you are willing to. I’ll understand if you…..” She trailed off, wondering if she had crossed a line._

_Then she felt his lips near her, a smile in his tone. “You’re most endearing when you’re flustered, ljubav…. His velvety whisper, sent a shiver to run down her spine._ _And, as for your question, don’t doubt my willingness.” His playfulness fading into something gentler. “For there is no other person, I would rather share it with.”_

_A smile toyed at her mouth despite herself. “I never took you for a romantic Nikola.”_

_“Samo za tebe.” He murmured, in response, eyes twinkling as she laughed quietly._

_His accent deepening, as he turned to the storm. The lighting flashed and arced, eagerly to her friend’s words. She wasn’t fully fluent in Serbian, but it was wonderful all the same._

_It was different, though, it was profounder, richer, and it wasn’t just the proximity to him that made the difference._

_It was so beautiful to see him, like this; his barriers stripped away as he talked to it, his eyes lighting up the same as when he had a new idea, that he always seemed to build before he penned it down._

_She saw her friend, again, the one she had met before the world had tainted that childlike innocence with such cynicism and disappointment…_

_He whispered something she couldn’t quiet catch with a conspiratorial air, his tone laced with longing._

_And, as if on cue, lightning lit up the sky with a dramatic burst, arching like branches of an electric tree, the night was covered in a blinding white._

_He gave a delighted chuckle and she turned her head to look at him, with an amused but questioning glance._

_“_ _What did you say to it?”_

_“A few things, but I assure you, I wasn’t the reason behind that little display.” He smirked and she narrowed her eyes._

_Her thoughts were sluggish, from lack of sleep, but not entirely without reason and his smirk spelt trouble._

_“It seems the lighting likes you.”_

_“Ah, hence the attempt to impress me with theatrics, then?” She jibed gently and he scoffed as she tucked her legs up on the bed resting beside her body, as she lay against him. Propriety be damned._

_“What does it feel like when it talks to you?”_

_Nikola smiled. “The same as when I play with electricity. I can show you, if you like.”_

_“Ah.” Helen gave him a wary look. “Not sure how I particularly feel about being electrocuted.” “_

_Says the woman who will jump into a den of ravenous chimeras without questioning if she wants to be eaten or not.” He pointed out._

_Now it was Helen’s turn to scoff. He always did love to exaggerate, and it was hardly a den of them. It was just three._

_“_ _Trust me.” His voice was soft, and whether it was his imploring tone, or the fact that she was too tired to argue, she nodded._

_He raised their joined hands and unlaced their fingers. “Place your palm flat against, mine.”_

_She did as he asked, watching with interest, despite herself._

_Nothing happened at first, then suddenly she saw a spark of electricity, arc from his fingers. She gasped softly as it touched her, a nuzzling, warm sensation that ran up her arm. It was strange, but not in any way unpleasant._

_“See?” He whispered._

_“Yes, I see.” She smiled. “But you still haven’t told me.”_

_“_ _My my, someone is perceptive.” The vampire drawled a smirk on his lips._

_“_ _Yet I am still without an answer, care to remedy that?” Helen asked sweetly her eyes sparkling with challenge._

_“_ _More than you know.” His smirk fell into a sad smile as he traced, the outline of her fingers, before letting go._

_Helen had originally thought he was just being deliberately cheeky, but his expression his tones suggested anything but his usual antics._

_“And?” She breathed, faintly, her eyes closing of their own accord, placing her hand on his chest. She didn’t want to fall asleep, but it seemed her body disagreed with her._

_“And perhaps someday I will.” He replied, softly. She felt him turn, beside her, but before she could mumble out in protest, his arms slipped around her waist and hook underneath her legs, swiftly lifting her off his bed and carrying her out of the room. Helen nestled against him, her arms around his neck, his voice seemed distant, but she could still hear him._

_“Hoping you might believe me, when I do.”_

Thunder roared again, disrupting her reminiscence.

Another flash of lightning seared across the sky.

Nikola’s words twirling over in her mind.

She found herself wishing he was here to watch it with her, again.

She moved from her bed, to get closer.

The last time she had watched lightning with anyone, was when Henry and Ashley were….. Helen felt a tear slip down her cheek.

She tried to breathe, to calm herself but it came out as a shudder.

 _“They’re afraid…..Of letting go”_ Her father’s words rang inside her head and she ran from them.

She couldn’t let go, not of her daughter. Not her little girl.

The lightning flashed again and the thunder rumbled as the rain continued to fall.

Helen held back another, sob the taste of salt on her lips.

Suddenly, the door opened, revealing none other than a very concerned looking Nikola Tesla, lingering in the doorway.

Something that was far too close to being coincidental for her liking.

“Nikola….” Her voice shook slightly, but she managed to compose herself enough to finish her sentence her shields raised. “There is such a thing as knocking, and why you are in my bedroom?”

“I did knock, and I am in your doorway, not in your room.” He smirked. “Well, not yet, at least.”

Cheeky devil, Helen thought wirily.

“Semantics is hardly a valid explanation, Nikola.” She sighed, trying to sound annoyed, but the beginnings of a smile teased at the corner of her lips.

“No,” He shrugged, letting his piercing eyes fall on her. “But you being upset is. So do you want to talk about it, or will we engage in our usual back and forth of who’s-in-denial, first?” He approached her in a few graceful steps, the distance between them felt closer than it looked and far more daunting than it should have been.

“Talk about what?” She placed her hands on her hips. “I don’t know what you are going on about, as I am perfectly fine.” The words sounded false even in her ears, yet she held his gaze resolutely.

He sighed. “So, evidently the latter…. I thought as much. You know, I should have found myself annoyed, by now, if your stubbornness wasn’t so wonderfully alluring.” Her vampire’s eyes were bright, with the prospect of the challenge.

“Funny, I don’t remember you saying that after you lost. And I thought you had barricaded yourself in the library, to watch the storm.” She needed to divert his attention. Before he figured it out, or she told him.

“Hmm, I see you’ve been keeping tabs on me.” He replied, clearly amused.

Helen rolled her eyes. “No that comes from knowing you and your infatuation with electrical storms. I only keep tabs on you when I leave, in fear that I may come back to a blown up lab an empty cellar, and perhaps a missing protégé.” She replied dryly, although there was no bite to her words.

“To be fair, I didn’t blow it up, I just caused a little fire with my experiment. And you were gone for two months! I missed you. How else could I drown my sorrows, but in wine?” He pouted childishly.

“It was a week. Missing me is no excuse for depleting my cellar.” She replied wearily then she saw a gleam in his eyes. Helen narrowed hers at him. “And please refrain from plotting the demise of my staff, in the near future.”

“The thought didn’t even cross my mind.” He gave her a charming smile, which seemed to affect her more than normal.

“Forgive me if I don’t find that convincing.” she scoffed as she circled around him, putting her father’s journal on her nightstand, not noticing as he stalked up behind her, until she felt his arm brush hers.

“Such cynicism.”

“You mean well-deserved cynicism.” Helen remarked, steadily, while her heart thrumming slightly at his proximity.

“That aside, we can’t do this forever, darling. And you’re still a terrible liar,” he whispered, mouth just above her ear, making her turn to face him and meet his soft gaze. “Even now, you won’t let yourself cry.” He reached out his hand and stroked her cheek gently, brushing away the residing wetness with his thumb. “Not completely. You don’t always have to be so brave, you know?”

“The alternative isn’t something I can afford, Nikola.” Her voice trembled as she backed away from his touch.

“The Sanctuary was built to protect abnormals. Every choice I make affects the lives of others. No matter how many I save, I have to go on knowing that I…. I couldn’t save her. Ashely died because of me.” She swallowed, her throat threatening to close. “I failed her… like I failed John….”

“Helen.” He interrupted, touching her arm; a steady anchor that held her through the storm of regret. “You have to stop blaming yourself. Ashely sacrificed herself to protect those she loved of her own volition. You did not kill her. Dana whitcomb and the cabal did. And, in Johnny’s case, we had no idea how the source blood would affect us. If he blames you then, as I may have pointed out over the years, he doesn’t deserve you, and has obviously made idiocy his religion.”

“You never were one for subtlety.” A smile teased at her lips. Nikola had a talent for making her smile, even in the most serious of situations.

“Why pander to convention?” He raised an eyebrow with a smirk, then softened. “You’re allowed to grieve Helen.” His fingers trailed up her arm reassuringly as the thunder rumbled outside, the rain beating down, heavily.

“It’s not that simple.” She looked up at him, her eyes glistening, willing him to understand. “If I give in... if I let go.” she choked out. “I will fall apart…. I won’t let that happen. Not again.” She felt so exposed, before him, but there was no judgement in his eyes.

“Well then, lucky you have me this time.” He took her hand, drawing her to him in one graceful movement.

“Nikola... What are you doing?” She resisted meekly, placing her hand on his chest and he paused.

“You clearly need a shoulder to cry on, and I am offering my services.”

Helen looked positively bemused. “You’re not normally the comforting type.”

“I’m highly selective, and you’re being exceedingly difficult.” He sighed with a look that turned positively mischievous. “I promise I won’t bite.”

“Yes, because that was my greatest concern.” Shaking her head with a wryly smile looking at the ground trying desperately to hold herself together.

“Come on Helen,” he coaxed. “You know you will feel better once you do.” His fingers traced the length of her arm.

“Trust me.”

Her lip trembled, and her resistance melted away. She let him pull her closer, her head resting against his chest as tears streamed down her face, his arms wrapping securely around her waist as her body shook, with tears she had denied for far too long.

She held onto him, tightly, as if he were a lifeline, and he didn’t waver, not once.

He just remained holding her, stroking her back lightly, his chin resting on her head.

It was odd, really. Of everyone she could have possibly thought would have comforted her, like this, she did not expect it to be Nikola.

But she was glad it was.

In more ways than one.

The tears stopped, and her breathing slowed.

“Feel better?” He enquired, still in that position.

“Aside from feeling like a watery mess, yes.” She smiled. “And thank you, Nikola. Really.”

“You’re welcome.” His eyes gleamed. “And, no, the watery mess is my vest, darling.”

Helen laughed “Ah, Sorry about that.”

“Yes, I expect compensation.” He replied teasingly, and she slapped his chest.

He flashed her a grin as she muttered the words ‘incurable’.

“Well, I guess I should go, then, before you shoot me and my wonderfully incurable self. I will be in the Library, if you need me.” He replied cheekily as he slowly let go of her, his arms beginning to loosen from their hold around her waist.

“Goodnight Helen.” His piercing eyes lingered on hers with that same look of adoration that he had when…. he showed her what it felt like to talk to the lightning.

It had been for her, she realised. All for her.

_“One day, I will tell you, hoping that you believe me when I do.”_

_Rome_.

Her heart skipped a beat. _He told me when we were in Rome._

Her eyes saddened for a moment, as she gazed into his. She hadn’t believed him, then, for good reason.

Yet he still kept looking at her like that, even when she pushed him away……

“Nikola, wait.”

He remained where he was, as the lightning flashed outside, the thunder booming in its wake.

“Stay, please...” She whispered, as he regarded her uncertainly, causing Helen to smile as she said her next words. “Watch the lightning with me.”

His eyes brightened in remembrance.

“Why Helen, feeling nostalgic, are we?”

“Are you complaining?” Helen replied, teasingly as they broke apart, circling around to the other side of the bed, in order to get the best view of her window.

Their hands were already entwined.

“No, this is rather ideal for me.” He smirked in her hair as she rested her head against his shoulder as his arm wrapped around her waist. “You practically fell asleep in my arms last time, if I recall correctly.”

“Of everything, of course you would remember that.” She replied amused.

“It was a very memorable part of the evening. For me, at least.” He admitted and Helen softened.

“Actually, I heard what you said...”

Nikola sighed. “I already told you, once, Helen….”

“I know.” Helen nodded gently, tracing his hand with her fingers. “You told me in Rome, didn’t you? When you said you loved me…”

Nikola visibly tensed, at her words. His jaw set. 

“Yes.” He answered quietly, turning away from her. “I always have.”

“Čujem te.” She whispered then cupped his cheek and kissed it softly, her thumb tracing along his jaw.

Her eyes met his, hand still on his face which had the most adorable state of complete shock written on it.

She feared she had broken him, until his lips were pressed against her own, holding her close against him.

When they broke apart, his forehead rested against hers. “You keep missing, ljubav.” He grinned at her and Helen smiled, stroking his face.

“Well, it seems I just need more practice.”

**Author's Note:**

> Just some translations :) “Samo za tebe.” means "Only for you" and “Čujem te.” means "I believe you".


End file.
